German newspapers are calling it "the first penis goal in the world." As someone who has taken the full brunt of a corner kick to the crotch, I am in awe of VfB Stuttgart's Mario Gomez. How he got away from this shot without doubling over in complete agony remains a complete mystery to me. He must have the hardest balls on the planet -- and if they're that hard, he really should get them checked.
Said Gomez afterward, "I scored with a large part, and it hurt me a lot." Clearly, he didn't let it show. If Gomez ever does hit the turf in pain in a future Bundesliga match, no referee will ever believe him.
Bayern Munich was clearly deflated by the sheer power of Gomez' manhood. He scored that goal in the 10th minute and another, more conventional goal in the 42nd minute as Stuttgart beat the Bundesliga leaders, 3-1, on Saturday.
