You can use it to score on the field as well

From an online source:

German newspapers are calling it "the first penis goal in the world." As someone who has taken the full brunt of a corner kick to the crotch, I am in awe of VfB Stuttgart's Mario Gomez. How he got away from this shot without doubling over in complete agony remains a complete mystery to me. He must have the hardest balls on the planet -- and if they're that hard, he really should get them checked.

Said Gomez afterward, "I scored with a large part, and it hurt me a lot." Clearly, he didn't let it show. If Gomez ever does hit the turf in pain in a future Bundesliga match, no referee will ever believe him.

Bayern Munich was clearly deflated by the sheer power of Gomez' manhood. He scored that goal in the 10th minute and another, more conventional goal in the 42nd minute as Stuttgart beat the Bundesliga leaders, 3-1, on Saturday.

Ode to =[

Damn all these footballing teams,
They never wanna do you good,
They got me suicidal, suicidal,
And now its all over

May i borrow your thumbdrive...

This is a 5 MB harddisk in 1960. Nuff said.

Hurro

I was just thinking.. when Justinssl's, Cming's, Rohan's, Bird's, Viper's, Bob's, Wt's and My kids asks us how we spent our university days, what do we say? Ez... Dota... zzz sadness ahah.
Hell, while our kids ask us we'll prolly be busy microing a Mirana arrow or something .. so we'll just have to look at them and say "what do u think... -_-, now buzz off jai jai"

Anyway sticking to the topic of videogames, I jsut experienced a classic case of overhype. Halo 3 holds the record for most expensive and widespread advertising ever conducted for a videogame. The buildup to its launch was felt worldwide, and people and stores readied themselves in ways that made Im Not A Plastic Bag seem like beans in.. - another can of beans. But then there I was 3 days after launchday at the GAME store holding a copy of Halo 3. I put it back on the shelf. Maybe the appeal is lost after realizing EVERYONE wants it. And everyone prolly already HAS it. But ill wait.

Im thinking of starting WOW again but omg how it consumed my life b4... Self-control Wurmy..

K better stop b4 I out-geek myself. Shit hvnt played any sport for 2 months. Oops. GG.

Post-hiatus

Its that time again, back to the grind. Summer was awesome, so awesome i forgot i had a blog. But when work looms and study material piles up you naturally find other activities to distract you. Hence my logging on to Wurmy's blog in the middle of doing tmr's PBL prez on the non-pharmacological management of rheumatoid arthritis. Fickle is me. Anyway heres a treat to announce my homecoming (sry but ull hv to be a footie fan to get it).

Quirky but true

I finally made it. Coming out of the theatre, my bladder was about to explode. The toilets outside were either full or locked so i decided to walk all the way home since it was only 5 mins away and i will hv the comfort of relieving myself in my own surroundings.

AAaaahhh. The sweetness of it. The imminence of the liquid gushing the moment u let loose upon the gaping latrine. The flow of the sweet, sweet lemon tea being expelled was too glorious to bear - like a thousand beads being strained through a hole in a stocking and the hole miracoulously tore. The tingling and shuddering that accompanied the motion, was, was - wait a minute.. orgasmic? No wonder it was so refreshingly familiar, it felt exactly like a climax. ZomG. Maybe even better! I really cant decide O__O

Odd 1 out

So i was playing bball that day and a friend of mine landed on the side of my foot after trying some fancy-ass fadeaway shit. As we all know, such a landing will do bad things to ur ankle. He twisted it and was writhing around for a while, but luckily he only needed to rest for 5 mins before he was up and balling again.

Which triggered something ive always wondered about. I have never, ever experienced a sprain, twist, fracture or strain on my ankle before. Ever. Practically every single person i know have one of those injuries on their ankle before. Even the non-ballers in the bunch. I havent even had so much as a BRUISE on my ankles before. Ive Always been curious about what went on behind the grimaces of the numerous faces ive seen. And what is the sensation of not being able to support ur body on a bad ankle? Is it true that u can actually "walk it off"? Will i ever get to try on some crutches? Omg i feel so left out. Lets see how long this durability of mine goes on. Hmm speaking of which i have a bball session tmr evening...

Spice Milfs

K I admit it. I have all their albums. And a few singles as well. And the bloody video of their most popular concert. At the time I didnt know bout hamsapness or was prolly approaching the zone but yea I was wondering why they were always prancing around in skimpy clothes. However, thats not the point coz their songs were actually listenable and their best album was one of the few where every single song was tolerable at the Least (other gems include RHCP and Jay Chou). Is it any wonder they conquered the world. Needless to say, im glad theyre having a reunion - but im hoping they recycle their classics instead of belting out some new half-assed commercial shit. That said, I found this picture comparison amusing =D


--->


Oh yea and stop chuckling, im 100% sure that in at least 3 instances in your life you were humming along to one of their singles. And if u were old enough, maybe another sort of humming.

Roo

Look at this kanga. Lets call him Skippy. Cute eh. I like the shade of his body fur. Take a looong good look at him, appreciate him as much as you can - for he's about to disappear.. ---> into MY BELLY muahahahAAHH



This was at an International Festival in Dublin.



Poor Skippy. Nvm, at least he helped settle my hunger pangs. I havent had lunch before I went to the festival.


Actually he didnt taste that good. The aftertaste reeked of expired sausage. At first it tastes like lamb tho. The texture was hard and rough, kinda like solidified haggis. Either way, it was a good experience, one I can add to my gastronomic conquers.

but WAIT.. theres MORE


This is a Feijaoda. I got it from the Brazilian stall. It is a mixture of black beans (hak dau), sausage, bacon, beef and about 10 more ingredients which I cant recall anymore. It tastes like some chinese dishes that use black bean paste. It is powdery and crumbles in your mouth (if sauce can crumble that is, but im serious). Hardly any meat in it so I felt conned, but alter realized maybe the meat is ground up into the gravy. But yea, Ill leave this for Ronaldinho and Kaka to savour.

Two 2s

My bday this year took place over the span of 2 days. 2 Amazing days. Not 1 huge crazy party, just, a series of events cumulating throughout 48 hours.

17th June (wee hours) - Hai Fon visited. Was here for the past 3 days actually. Bundle of fai wah and entertainment he was, Im glad he was around. I had some Hero Siege with the Dotad00ds. Next, Cming, Lai Mun, Haifon and me PS2-NBAed our eyes dry. Till 7 in fact. I pretty much got my ass handed over to me by every one of them. On my own PS2. I'll catch up soon dont worry (sneers).

17th June (3pm) - Woke up and had some Ipoh white coffee. Good shit, especially with cereal. Not mixed, in a bowl - dry, without milk. Out i go for a movie with Hai F , Viccki and Cming. Vacancy. We had a blast laughing at the blasphemous dialogue, plastic acting and overall schlockiness of the whole movie. Rating: Zzzz.
Next we rushed to a casino for the FINAL EUROPEAN MATCH OF MY IDOL - David Robert Joseph Beckham. Real Madrid vs Mallorca for the friggin title. He was the man that brought me into football, his centre parted gold hair and imba freekicks captivating me back when i started feeling bored of burning random objects for fun etc.


We won. He won. I screamed. I teared (diff from cried btw). I embraced all that is good in life.

17 June - (nighttime) Dinner at Happy Seasons for some Ngau Lam Fan. Standard fare but cant complain. Each grain of Fan burst into little pinches of joy. Got home right before 12 am. The moment of reckoning. Lil called. We stayed on the phone till the clock hit 12. Happiness and emoness ensues.

18th June - (am) U know how ppl call u or knock on ur door while ure doing the funky munky in the washroom. That happened. Annoying rite. "Wait, hold on" I bellowed. Face like this -_-. Slapping my hands on my sides I opened my room door. Whaddya know: --->


See those cakes? The job of Yvinne and Charlene. Much appreciated. Thx also to CK, Engtat, Connie, Haifon and the Royal. I don't know why i didnt see that coming. I usually smell it 60 football fields away. Good one guys^^

18th June - (5 am) Watched Hostel. Not Hostel 2. Hostel 1. Great show. Great taht it encompasses Vacancy I was trying to rid it from my retrospect bank. Grit and gore and a storyline that makes u FINK. Ohh how wrong this world can be. Im not going to Bratislava anytime soon.

18th June (3pm) Woke up. Coffee, cereal, bla bla. Thx all for your Facebook Bday sprinkles. High-5 to yas. This was cool tho:


("happy burfday to Jaycen", while squinting)I was touched like beanbag. Dotad00ds, u all rock. <-- Call me a geek and Ill pwn you =D. No, really =/

18th June (Night) Dinner with a Spanish theme. The reason is obvious enough, if not the stark blatant picture.


Hardcore paella and tapas. Hardcorer gang.

Two 2s reads as Yi yi in canto/mandarin. Which reads as Easy easy. Lets hope the coming years reflects my lameass deduction. V(^_^)

Interracial

I like it at the end where he pins the duck down o__0

' . '

(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your blogs and signatures to help him gain world domination.

Puma. Hey wait...

Lolz when I saw this at some outdoor market i laughed my guts out. Look at the damn the leopard, hes upside down omg. Gratz to the designer of this shirt for having made my day^^

BTW: Sry for the wierd angle, we had to manuever the camera taking operation so that we don't incur the wrath of the shopkeeper that was staring us to death.

Shrunken head

So yea the shower in my toilet was clogged like a biyatch. By clogged i mean i cant shower for more than 3 mins before it floods and spills out onto the tiled floor and sometimes out to the carpet OUTSIDE the Fun room. In I went through the drain hole thingy to try root out the problem (first time in my 1.5 year tenure at this house). After a major rollicking using the long "straw" part of a used handwash container out popped the problem. Scared the living juice outta me! >3 min showers here i come~

Broke as fvck

For the second time in the space of 5 months my debit card got swallowed by the machine. While on holiday this time. The difference between this time and the previous occasion is that I managed to recover my account the first time around. This time however I wasnt so lucky. The amazingly efficient HSBC closed all my accounts within it and sent the entire balance back home to my parents. Maybe they planned all this. It is a slight possibility. Anyway, having all my financial resources sucked outta me at present is making me face a frugal life. Luckily Tesco provides lots of buy 17-packs-and-get-0.5-free offers. Anything to save, u know.

Char Siu

This gigantic piece of pork was shot in Alabama by an 11 yr old KID using just a puny PISTOL. Apparently the first few shots didnt kill it and it ran away so the boy and his old man hunted the desperate swine down and finished the job later on. We all love stats so here goes: 477.3 kg and 10 foot 7 inches. 'Like to see how many plates of char siu fan this bugger yields.

Holy shiz

I havent been so excited bout a movie since forever. This is gonna be H00GE. Behold the nU Transformers trailer, and see if you don't let out a kiddie squeal of some sort.


http://movies.yahoo.com/summer-movies/Transformers/1808716430/trailers/31

Take it away~

The sky fell today

Sheep

I swear I didnt tamper with this article in any way:

start

"Croatian Striker Gets Sheep Per Goal Scored

It may just sound like a baaaaad TV report, but Croatian footballer Ivica Supe, playing for third division side Zagora, has received sixteen sheep as a prize for his marksmanship…

Croatian sports journal Sportske Novosti (Sports News) pulled the wool from everybody’s eyes with a revealing tale that Goal.com now brings ewe.
The Croatian side hails from the rocky Dalmatian coastline where sheepherding is a local speciality and the local mutton is coveted.
The donor is Josko Bralic, a local shepherd who’d promised a 20 Kg animal for each goal scored for Zagora. He isn’t feeling even a little fleeced as Bralic has rammed in a flock of goals – sixteen so far – with a shear efficiency that has impressed the ruminant reproducer."

end - courtesy of Goal.com

The PUNS. the. P-U-N-S. z0mg. /wrist

Yeap, its exactly what it looks like. Jay Chou's FACE. On a packet of instant noodles. Not only that, its Bak Kut Teh flavoured instant noodles. Talk about kooky. On the taste, it was devoid of Bak and there was no Kut texture in the soup. The only element resembling the real thing were the traces of Teh. Overall its horsefood. These noodles also came in Spicy Beef flavour though, now that was actually was fine and dandy. Not that im getting some more if I get the chance. Sorry Jay Chou.

Boy, oh boy

Boy is hungry. Plans to make rice to have with leftovers. Boy realizes house doesn't have a rice cooker. Boy eyes microwave. Rice goes in microwave. 30 minutes pass. Boy notices smoke bellowing out of microwave. Boy takes rice out. Voila~ a homemade haemangioma is born. Outta rice. Boy is still hungry.

The phenomenon that is-

DOTA. Or Defense of the Ancients. It has got to be the most profound activity ive been exposed to these past few months. Ive experienced every emotion there is to go through in between all the hotkey smashing and mouse waving. Its beginning to feel less like a game, a means to pass time, and more of an everyday occurence. NOT in an addict's sense of the word of course, I know addictions like the ridge of my nose. We have a cliq that meets up for our daily dose, like how families meet at the dining table everyday. But we don't pick food for each other with our chopsticks, we engage in a completely different type of banquet =)

PS. I uninstalled WOW, Gratz me.